Once upon a time a band of adventurers explored the world, helping those in need and doing the jobs too dangerous for normal folk: a samurai, a warlock, an archer, a druid, a monk, a boss, and the Bard.
One day, after a particularly dangerous assignment, the group returned treasured ale to a local bartender. But what’s this? The dastardly bartender spat in the face of our brave heroes and offered a mere pittance of coin for their trouble. The group decided to walk away from the trade, ale in hand, and spent the night in a rundown shed.
But truly this town brought nothing but hardship for our heroes, for in the morning, the samurai discovered she had been robbed! Clearly this city was an unlucky one, and the group set off to the harbor to set sail to a new destination. But as they approached the town square, they were booed by both citizens and guards alike, who claimed that they were thieves and would not be welcome at any turn!
The bartenders!
Had they really stooped so low as to spread vicious lies about the group, just because they did not get the sale they wanted? The group went to the bar to explain the concept of possession being nine-tenths of the law, but the bartenders, likely being some form of autistic, merely shouted at them to leave and not come back! The warlock convinced the frustrated boss to take pity on the disturbed gnomes, and the monk left them their precious ale (most of it, anyway) in the doorway in the hope that this might alleviate their distress.
But now what to do? No business would take their coin and no captain would give them passage! Surely they could find SOME aid in this town! But even their good friend Alicia wouldn’t help them, claiming that if they wanted to be villains than perhaps they should join the pirates that lived on the far side of the island. The Bard stared longingly at his hand, wondering how much harder it would be to play his lute with a hook instead, before putting aside his dreams of sailing the high seas for another day.
But the warlock had an idea. If Alicia wouldn’t talk to them, perhaps she would talk to a stranger. Putting on his best disguise, he went back into her shop and inquired about the island. It’s true, the bartenders had gone about sullying their reputation and had convinced most of town already, but the disdain the town felt was mostly faux and many could be convinced to work with our heroes for the right… incentive.
Explaining that she could help ANYONE who rid her abode of nightly plant creatures, a plan began to take shape. What were mere plant men against the might of <group name placeholder>? As dusk settled they made their way to the edge of the forest and awaited the unwelcome visitors.
As the last rays of sun disappeared from the horizon, the trees began to rustle. When the first plant creature emerged from the tree line the group readied their weapons. When the next dozen pushed from the trees the group bit their lips, expecting a grand battle. When the next thousand arrived the smell of fresh fertilizer filled the air and the group wondered if they might have bit off more than they could chew.
Yet the plant men did not attack. The druid, ever attuned with nature, stepped forward and attempted to communicate with the army. Though their speech was limited she translated for the group, “They’re not violent, they are only here to retrieve their idol, an idol stolen by… Alicia!”
They immediately called for the shopkeeper, and when she opened the door they accused her of creating her own mess and demanded she explain herself. Alicia explained that she found the idol one evening while searching for alchemy supplies and could sense it possessed great power, and great power indeed! When she brought it home, she discovered that it had many properties, but none greater than the power to delay aging! Still, she was not cruel. If the plant men needed it she could be convinced to return it… for a price. Negotiations lasted long into the night but she finally relented, giving up the idol for daily mushroom extract that would ensure her skin stayed smooth and her body age-free.
As the plant men retreated back into the forest with their recovered idol, Alicia approached the warlock and thanked him again for his help. “But sir,” she said, batting her eyelashes, “surely you will stay to make sure they truly deliver”. The warlock then realized he was still in disguise, and a dreamy one at that! “Come into my bedroom and we’ll wait for their return,” Alicia said, her chest heaving like a bulimic after Thanksgiving dinner. The warlock was nervous but with the group encouraging him to do the “thing-thang in the zone place there”, he slowly followed her inside.
The rest of the group spent the night under the stars, drinking and smoking into the night. The Bard contemplated out loud that their journey had taken them far but more awaited. His parents were still in danger and he had made a promise to his sister to rescue them and was counting on his party for their continued support. However, he noticed most members had celebrated into slumber and did not hear him. It didn’t matter. With a small smile, he felt content to rest his mind for the evening, confident they would overcome any challenges ahead of them. He then took out his ink and quill and began to decorate the sleeping boss’s face…