Once upon a time a band of adventurers explored the world, selflessly helping those in need and doing the jobs too dangerous for normal folk: a samurai, a warlock, an archer, a druid, a monk, a boss, and the Bard.
After a long night of negotiating with plant men and wooing broads, the group set out in the morning… FOR ADVENTURE!!! (All but the warlock who opted to spend the day with his new lady-friend, the magic-maker Alicia.)
The group reached the treeline outside the nearby village with dark, unexplored woods beyond it. They had no heading or map, just rumors of a secluded tribe of druids deep in the trees. As their collection of herbs (medicinal, of course) grew smaller, meeting a group of naturalists would indeed be fortuitous, and so the group headed into the dense forest.
The group walked through the trees for hours. More than once, the Bard found himself caught in a vicious battle with long vines of ivy, but his wit and his sister’s quick blade saw them through the worst of it. Eventually, they reached a clearing, but this was no ordinary clearing, for it contained a group of velociraptors devouring a great mound o’ elephant! But their time with the druid had taught them not to trust their eyes when it came to druidic shapeshifters. Could these raptors be the druids they sought?
“Hey Boss,” said the monk, “go talk to those blood-soaked dinos. They might be our druids!”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” replied the Boss, who had neither the time nor the crayons available to explain to the monk why approaching feeding raptors was a bad idea.
As their march continued, they came across a bewildered looking baby elephant. Could THIS be a druid?
But no, after approaching the forlorn elephant, they quickly deduced that this orphan’s mother was, at that very moment, passing through the raptors’ digestive tracts. Our heroes were champions of the lost and desperate, and they swore to see this lil fellow to safety!
Unfortunately, this particular elephant was not known for his discretion. As he stomped through the woods, he created some ruckus, a ruckus that could be described as far-reaching. Before they could react, the group was attacked by the previously feeding raptors. It seemed that their meal was over… yet they were still hungry!
But our heroes would not be dinner this day! With skill and cunning the raptors were brutally cut down! (“I hope these really weren’t the druids,” thought the archer.) After a quick but violent battle, the group continued to escort the young elephant through the woods. After a few more minutes of marching, they came upon another clearing, this one guarded by a ring of wolves. Could THESE be druids?
Yes! But though they were happy to see their elephant friend returned safely to their sanctuary, they would not let the others pass!
Their dismissal by the druids was not important. Not needing payment, or even thanks, for doing good deeds, the group gladly left the rude and stupid-looking druids to begin their long journey back home. (Though the others had to practically carry the boss away kicking and screaming after he was converted to a furry fan by another of his kind who apparently liked doggy-style. )
As the sun set, the group reunited with their warlock friend outside of town and regaled him of their adventures. The warlock also had a harrowing day, one of flirting and reading many books. Not only did he manage to complete these daring tasks with his life intact, but the pages he perused (no, not Alicia’s) gave him some additional insight into his past. He read of tales of celestial children caged and sacrificed by evil cultists, an upbringing he was only too familiar with. He would seek more information on this “Order of the Pit” once they found their way off the island.
But if they were going to leave the island, they would require additional help. They went to the man in charge, the one who might be able to help them, the Mayor! But once they arrived at his manor, they did not find a calm and collected leader, but a weary shell of a man who could do scarcely more than hold his head up. He explained that his depression was due to the loss of his daughter. Four nights earlier, when the moon was black, a band of pirates invaded the town and stole the Mayor’s daughter away into the night and back to their hideout. He knew not whether she was alive or dead but he would reward anyone greatly who dared to enter their well-known cove and could bring her back safely.
Of course the group would rally to aid the innocent — as they unerringly did — but these would be pirates they would be fighting! Rescuing children was noble enough, but dead pirates meant empty boats, hats with big feathers in them, and what might be mounds and mounds of treasure up for grabs! As they prepared to set sail the next day, they all knew this could be the beginning of a brand new (and lucrative) future…