The night was dark but did nothing to hide the thrashing in the distance that foretold of unearthly horrors heading their way. A group of adventurers prepared sword and shield to meet this unstoppable foe, all but The Bard. He gingerly traced the outline of his Lute and thought back to his actions that led to this moment. Again his choices had put them all in terrible danger. Fear of failure caused him to detonate an explosive before everything was in position and it may have lost them the battle before it even began! It certainly lost them the element of surprise.
The Bard sank deeper into a great depression. Before this was the bungle of the white dragon negotiations, and before that was a questionable alliance with an old god. The Bard put his head in his hands with a heavy sigh. He had spent his whole life doing his best to rise to something beyond insignificance and mediocrity, but time and time again he felt he fell short. Despite his best efforts, the evils of this world had only grown and his vaunted optimism had done nothing to change that.
The glittering “MM” plaque on his Lute caught his eye for a moment. Not for the first time he questioned if he had received it by mistake. Sure, it descended from the heavens right in front of him, but “plummeted” might have been a better word to describe its descent, and it didn’t land “in front of him” so much as it landed “in the garbage a few feet to his left”.
Maybe he was a phony.
Maybe he would never rise to anything beyond a fool.
Reaching across time and space he sent a message to the only person who might understand him.
“Hi Maltrix, I hope you and the parents are OK. I just… I just wanted you to know that I’m trying to keep you all safe but… it’s really scary out here, and… well, I don’t know how much longer the peace in this world can last.”
There was a silence that seemed to last for minutes, but finally a quiet but strong voice responded. “You big dummy, you can’t save the world, no one person can. There will always be peace and danger, and there will always be good and evil, life and death. It’s how it’s always been and how it will always be. All that really matters in this world… is telling a story. To tell your story and make it the best one that anyone has ever heard. And I wouldn’t worry about yours. If there’s one thing Milo can do, it’s tell a story. In the end, I’m sure yours will be… magnificent.”
The Bard’s eyes swam as he received the message. Maybe she was right. It had been a pretty good story. He crossed blades with dragons and witches. He fought in arenas to the sound of roaring applause. And he put on shows so grand that he attracted the eyes of the most important people in town (and still had the panties to prove it).
The adventurers he met along the way had been equally great. He attended school side-by-side with the metal man and the warlock. He shared visits to brothels with the monk and the Boss. He flew through the skies with the druid. Why, even the usually morose archer had once said that he would consider the Bard a hero even without his Lute!
The Bard looked across the plain towards the thrashing trees and heard the sounds of snarling monstrosities that would soon be upon them. Maybe this would be the end, maybe one person could only do so much, but he had already told a pretty good story, and good stories never die.
The night was dark, but for the Bard it was a new day.
Epilogue
The Tales from the Bard series is a famous anthology known to old and young alike. Most stories do have an end, but not this one. While this was the last entry in the official series, stories continue of Milo the Magnificent’s many exploits. Some say he became even more powerful, being able to lose all his limbs only to fuse them back together. Some say he joined forces with a tyrannosaurus rex and a roc to save the world from undead swarms.
Any time rumors are told, from damsels being rescued from cages, to giant beasts that trash a music hall after an amazing performance, there are always whispers that the Bard was in some way responsible. The man has not been seen for ages, but his lessons of big things from small beginnings lives on.
2019-03-04
Outside the ruins of Innsmouth, the Pisspots were joined by Till, Lianna, Salendra, and her roc in their last stand against Evan in his newly ascended atropal form. Milo was surrounded, and after his plan to Dimension Door to safety was Counterspelled by several sneaky cultists, his body was torn asunder. The Bard’s dubious god-like patron repaired and possessed his vacant body, offered the party an ultimatum, and then vanished their friend forever when they refused to swear fealty.
Countdown to the end of the world: less than 48 hours