Once upon a time, a group of adventurers set out to find their destiny: a warlock, a thieving monk, a boss, a druid, an archer, and, of course, The Bard. Our heroes awoke one morning, rested and wide-eyed, ready to head out into the city of Dis to learn her secrets and achieve glory! All but the thieving monk, who spent the night in a dirty alley on account of all his thieving…
Still, the monk was not one to remain separated from his friends (and more importantly, the Boss) so, slowly but surely, he found his way back to the Wit’s End Inn. He wasn’t completely empty handed though when he returned. While unable to procure any valuables, he did obtain one of the many wanted posters bearing his mug put up during the night (the city was VERY organized).
Milo, ever the champion of the less fortunate, exclaimed, “This will not do! I shall clear your good name and rid you of these pesky town guards!” Confident his reputation would be enough to end this misunderstanding, Milo and his faithful druid friend set out for the rich district, searching for the man in search of the monk.
Meanwhile the rest of the group set out to do what they do best. “I have a clever scheme to make us rich!”, said the boss, pulling together the materials for crafting a false eye. “We can investigate the shanty town!”, said the archer and the spooky warlock. “I can successfully use the bathroom!”, said the monk.
Unfortunately, before the day was out, they would all fail spectacularly at their jobs (except for the monk who, true to his word, did potty very well).
Woe to the gods who smote our heroes with misfortune! Poor Milo and his druid sidekick could charm the guards but not the outrageous bodyguard, Blath, who shamelessly tossed them into prison for the crime of clearing up an attempted robbery! Poor Boss’s scheme was almost immediately discovered upon entering the first shop by the gender-neutral shopkeeper (though, with quick thinking, he found friends instead of a jail cell—and also a time-telling orb).
Things fared even worse for the brave adventurers seeking information on the thieves’ guild. Oh, finding the warehouse was easy enough, and there was little in the way of resistance: merely a halfling female, a drunk one at that. The warlock, always able to make the ladies talk, let the archer take a walk as he worked his magic. Starting with small-talk about the whereabouts of a certain hobgoblin, it wasn’t long before the halfling had him in a warm embrace. Or rather, had his neck in an embrace… the choking kind. Rather than be a standoffish brute, the chivalrous warlock decided to take his assault like a man, allowing his ass to be kicked in short order. If not for the quick return of the archer, who chased the frightening halfling away, who knows what unspeakable things would have been done to his body!
But not even the will of the gods could stop our adventurers for long! Weary but intact, they each made their way back to the inn with a little more insight into how this town operated. Even the druid escaped from jail with some clever shape-shifting! There was no sign of Milo, but no one worried. They knew that he could not be contained by a mere four walls! Even if a platoon of guards came to his cell to escort him away after the captain of the guard mysteriously materialized behind him, Milo would be freed before long, almost certainly without betraying his friends to a dastardly governor!
But for Milo’s companions, his return couldn’t come soon enough, for a birthday celebration was approaching and with it a terrible creature at the arena. A creature with a hunger… FOR FLESH!