Once upon a time, a group of adventurers set out to explore the world and topple evil, wherever they might find it! On this day, they were hot on the trail of a sinister witch who had a young girl in her clutches. And not just any girl! This girl may be the very one stolen from the archer years ago!
The party traveled across the plains towards the nearby swamp that was rumored to house the witch. They would soon make it to its border, but where would they go from there? The swamp was massive and they only had the questionable testimony of the metal man in their party, who used few words even on his most verbose days.
At this point a shape was seen in the sky. Was it a bird? A plane? Yes… yes it was a bird, but not just any bird, but a massive roc. This monstrosity was still some distance away and already its massive wingspan cast a shadow over the heroes.
The Boss quickly began to detail a plan, but before he could finish, the monk sprinted out into the field, waving his hands to catch the roc’s attention. This appeared to be a very silly thing to do. Even the simplest creatures would not risk death so foolishly. Like, what sort of moron would attempt such an action? Which meant… yes! Surely the monk was attempting to be caught on purpose so he could survey the land from great heights! Such cleverness!
Sure enough, the looming bird quickly snatched the monk with its mighty talons before quickly rising back into the air. From his new vantage point the monk could see many things. A cloud that looked like a bunny, an eagle with a green stripe in its feathers chasing them, and a clearing in the swamp that was just big enough for two to make camp. He had identified their new heading, but how best to get back on the ground? The monk, having witnessed the power of amazing performances from the Bard, decided to charm the beast with a song.
The monk was halfway through his rendition of “Ode to a Small Lump of Green Putty I Found in My Armpit One Midsummer Morning” when the roc threw him to the ground in horror and flew off, screeching into the sky. The monk was slightly disoriented, but otherwise no worse for wear.
Once reunited with the group, they set off in the direction of the clearing. After much traveling through mud and grime they arrived at the spot, but instead of a witch they found a small hemisphere. The boss agreed to stay behind to watch their backs while the rest cautiously moved towards it.
Slowly they approached until the archer heard a voice in his head:
“Ah, the archer, come at last. And what’s this? You brought me so many sets of fingers as well. Come forward, there’s someone here who’s dying to meet you.”
The archer would normally be calm and collected but with the thought of his daughter so close his breath was ragged and his footsteps unsteady. He felt like he was in a dream as he clumsily approached the dome. The druid did not feel the same emotional homecoming. With a quick enchantment, she cast a powerful spell that caused the dome to disappear in a flash. There, in the middle, stood a haggard woman with leathery skin and crooked teeth. Nearby was a smaller figure, the face obscured with a heavy cloak. The haggard woman sneered at the loss of her protective hut but began an enchantment of her own.
“Uh, boss,” whispered the Bard, “we’re in trouble…”
The witch let out a terrible cackle and suddenly the ground was bathed with a terrible greenish light that killed everything it touched. The lungs of the adventurers burned as they scrambled to escape.
But the witch did not see the Boss sneak closer…
The witch then raised her pale arms and summoned an army of crocodiles. One by one the lizards slithered from the water and the adventurers found themselves thrashed by tooth and tail.
But the witch did not see the Boss sneak closer…
The heroes slowly but surely pushed the mighty crocodiles back and crept closer to the witch, but some were so hurt they could barely stand. Not wanting to endanger the girl that was still at the witch’s side, they were at a standstill.
And then the Boss arrived.
With daggers drawn, the Boss cornered the witch. With nowhere to run, the witch glared at this newcomer, her eyes wild with fury. “Hmm, you lot are stronger than you look. I’ll remember that next time.”
She locked eyes with the archer, and with a sickening wink, she leaned down to the female figure and placed a dry kiss on her forehead. The archer let out a yell, and before anyone could react, the duo disappeared without a trace.
The archer’s head slumped on his shoulders. He had lost her again. He looked up at the Bard and pleaded, “Please, you can talk over great distances… please try and find my girl.” The Bard took pity on the archer. The odds of such a feat working were incredibly low, but he would try all the same. He gathered all his strength and sent a message into the void. After a moment a small voice in his head answered, “You villains leave me and my mom alone! She didn’t do anything to you and I swear if I see you again, I’ll… I’ll… I’ll make you wish you were never born. I HATE YOU!”
The archer looked up at the Bard with sorrowful eyes. “Did you reach her?”
The Bard paused for a moment. “No.”