An entry in Blumf’s private journal:
Dear dairy,
Oh man, what a weird couple o’ nights. Kerath and Zin went into town to deal with that shady look’n Dark Warren. Glad it was them and not me, fellow gives me the creeps, and I think he might’ve stolen me wallet. I’m thinking the two of them had the same concerns. I’m told Zin approached him first while Kerath followed “stealthily”. I dunno what the ranger man considers stealthy, but stopping to buy some bread doesn’t seem stealthy to me. In fact, he left poor Zin to herself to negoat… negoti… plan our next move.
Once alone, Zin tells us that Dark Warren was… disappointed. He was expecting more weapons! Christ! If he wanted them that bad he could have gotten them hisself! Though he did at least tell us where we might find them. Just as I thought, them damned Duergar had them the whole time! Fook’n dark Duergar always stealing bikes and giving dwarfs a bad name! We should have finished them while we had the chance. I would’ve been happy to go smash some heads in right there, but Zin needed to know more. The elf told us that she didn’t get much out of the dragon man, but two things:
The weapons must be delivered soon.
Do not trust Lord Kane.
I would have been happy to set off right then and give them Duergar a taste of me sword, but that magic man (Charlie? Hugo?) had a better idea. “Let’s see what Lord Kane has to say,” he said. “Maybe we can get a better idea of what’s going on by exploring this through both sides.” Very clever, that one, sell ’em to the highest bidder!
The fancypants nobles, Argora and Magicman and their faithful scribe, Qeew, went out to the palace once again to meet with the Lord. When they returned they told the tale of their inquiry. Apparently, Lord Kane still seemed interested in using the weapons in order to set up a trade route. It all seemed pretty standard to me but–and who knows how much the trio was drinking–they claim to have seen a… “shimmer” in the air at the end of the conversation. In the end, Lord Kane also recommended we fetch more weapons. (And also Qeew sneezed on someone. That’s hilarious.)
Argora and Magicman claimed that was the end of the discussion, but I can’t help but think sumthin more must’ve happened. I don’t remember their weapons, a longsword and a crossbow, look’n quite so magical before. Those selfish bastards probably got upgrades just fer being nobles. Maybe they’ll share.
Meanwhile, ours truly met the innkeeper Rumble at the inn. The dude was looking like a walking carpet this time and I could practically see the curse leaking off o’ him. I tried to put on my sweetest, most deceptive smile to charm ‘im into telling me his secrets and past, but he was still draggin his feet admitting he needed help. Not that we could cure curses anyways.
Magicman returned later and told his tale of his meeting with Lord Kane over drinks… maybe too many drinks because Qeew swore she saw another “shimmer” outside. A shimmer that came from a man outside, but just for a second. A man with… green arms? I’m not sure who this Snuffy guy is, maybe an ex-boyfriend? But if we’ve got shimmering men sneaking up on us, than Imma gonna punch em in the face, shimmer or no shimmer! It could be she was just drunk and seeing things because soon after I had to carry her up to her room.
As I put Qeew to bed, I couldn’t help but reflect on our time together. We had come so much further than that first night we met that scared bird who had lost her family. Even if we tease her sometimes, it’s obvious that she would always be the first one into the fray to rescue her friends and I knew that together we could overcome any challenge.
… And then I drew a mustache on her face.
It was hilarious.
Afterwards, what should have been a quiet night in a blasted bed for once, I was interrupted by thrashing coming from downstairs and Magicman knocking on my door. Investigating it further, we saw it was that fool Rumble half out of his mind tear’n his bar apart and shouting for “Lyra”. We tried to make some sense out of him, but didn’t get anything more from him save some maniacal laughter and “She’s in the woods!”. Not sure who Lyra is, but I certainly din’t want to get caught up in this mess. I thought about treating Rumble with that most effective of medication, a punch in ‘is head, but we just watched ‘im wail til morning where he promptly fell asleep behind the counter.
When Argora returned from his pansy mansion bed and Qeew awoke (bwahaha, still with moose-tash), we were ready to kick some Duergar ass. I was ready to head out, but Magicman thought it best to leave a note with Rumble before leaving. If he comes to his senses maybe he’ll find us and be more open for help.
With blood boiling already at the thought of confronting the Duergar again, we set off. Who knew what horrors would await us in the depth of the dwarven stronghold, but we would persevere!
But before we got too far a bear came out of the trees. Then it turned into a woman. And then the woman yelled at us and said we should support Warren. Then she said we were stupid and went away.
It was weird.